Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Adventures of Pancakes Dunst: No. 21

This Week Only: All Nouns Half Off!

Everyone knows that billionaire businessman Anson Jarry prefers to keep his public comments concise. But no one predicted that in his silence he sought to seize the world’s wealth! With the publication of his glitzy autobiography, An Economy of Phrasing, Jarry unveils his scheme of complicated contracts that make him the owner of most of the world’s common words. Citizens across the globe try to protest, but they can’t afford the outcry. “Hey, no fair!” complain the world’s leaders, instantly incurring bills for their countries’ GNPs. Even at his low, low introductory prices, no one want to argue just to see Jarry profit. Pancakes Dunst resolves to button her lip, but she still has a thing or two to say about this stranglehold on free expression. Mime and interpretive dance have never been so compelling!