These average classes are for those of you with lesser abilities.
If we took any notice of you whatsoever, you’d be fired before the end of the day.
No matter how many times you revise the first sentence of your book, there’s no way you’ll live long enough to significantly improve the ten thousand that follow it.
In fact, yes, my new boyfriend is better than you. In so many ways.
You have no novel in you.
Even the most generous and undisciplined schools of art would burn that canvas.
The size of your salary is directly proportional to how much of your soul we own.
We love your sister more than we do you. Always have.
There is no farm in the country where we sent Buster to live. Your hamster did not escape while you were away at camp. Plus, there’s no such thing as doggie heaven.
Using you? I guess you’re right. I was just using you. Thanks.
Your incompetence sometimes takes my breath away.
You deserve a much bigger raise, but we’re betting you’ll stick it out for the pittance we actually gave you.
Your music is offensive enough to anger patrons at a cockfight.
You’re just lucky all the good employees keep resigning.
Your sense of fashion would embarrass the average lobotomy patient.
Based on this resume, I wouldn’t even hire you to pack fish.
We’re really looking to sell the house to a nice white family.
The grass actually is greener on the other side, but you’ll never have the courage to do anything about it.
As soon as you’re out of earshot, we immediately compare notes on your most recent acts of outrageous idiocy.
Yes, that dress does make you look fat.
Threatened by your intellect? Oh, that’s pretty far-fetched.
If your father and I had had better contraceptives, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
Your humor does little to mask your rage.